Being a parent makes your marriage vulnerable. Just like our babies have developmental stages and growth spurts, raising little kids is a phase of our marriage/relationship that has its own unique needs and challenges. It can feel impossible to connect to your partner or spouse when you’re so busy caring for babies and children!
When I met Hilary Silver, we instantly bonded over being parents and a desire for other parents to feel encouraged in their own relationships. It is also super validating to hear from a therapist that even though child rearing is full of joyful moments, there are a lot of times that just aren’t fun.
She’s created a program called Keeping Love Alive After Kids Arrive that is chock full of tips and tools for expecting parents and parents of young children.
In this video, I ask her what couples underestimate about having babies when it comes to their marriages and relationships. She even tells us what we can do if we are ready to invest a little more in improving things and our spouse or partner aren’t interested!
The best thing she said: If you aren’t trying to be connected, you will be disconnected.
This resonated with me because I have felt the benefits of being super committed and intentional with my partner. Our whole family unit seems to hum along and thrive.
And I also know what happens when I don’t put any effort or energy into my connection with him. Everything seems to just grind along. I get resentful and keep track of who has changed how many diapers. Without intention and attention for each other and for the relationship, we get disconnected.
If you’re at a loss for how to stay connected or get connected again with your partner, please check out this virtual course here.